Sunrise

You know the feeling you get when you wake up early to leave for vacation while it is still dark? That's the feeling I started my day off with-a mixture of tiredness, excitement, and anticipation. Wednesday morning, three of my friends and I left the apartment at 5 AM to watch the sunrise on Cheyenne Mountain. We packed the freshly-made muffins and fruit in a picnic basket and toted our creamed coffee in a cooler as we prepared for this glorious morning.

The drive up the mountain was longer than I anticipated-full of switchbacks-but as we climbed higher and higher, the landscape was breathtaking. At one point, we pulled over just to catch a glimpse of the city lights at night, thousands of feet below us. We drove as far and as fast as we could, racing against the sun to get the best view of its grand entrance. We finally found a place to pull off, and all while still dark, grabbed our coffee and breakfast, and climbed some boulders to get an even better view.


While Chris set up his camera and Katie poured the coffee, Joy and I were simply taking it all in--the crisp scent of the morning, the wind whipping in my ear, and the panoramic view of the shadowed mountains. Slowly but surely the sun began to rise. And let me tell you, there is nothing quite like it. Watching the sunrise on top of a mountain, watching the sky turn colors while casting light on the dark parts of the mountain, automatically makes for a wonderful day. 


And it's moments like these when I realize how seldom I take the time to praise my God and Creator of the universe. How incredible, how majestic is our God. We have been discussing naturalism in class as of late, and I wonder how anyone can justify the absence of an orderly and brilliant Creator. A friend reminded me of a verse a few weeks ago from Romans 1:19-20:

"For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For His invisible attributes, namely, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse."

Indeed, we are without excuse. The deep, existential, unexplainable sense that envelopes us at a moment like this is proof. That there is something bigger than us. That whatever, whomever is responsible for such a masterpiece deserves to be worshipped. This is our God.

Thoughts Unceasing

I just received mail from two of my favorite people. The first was a postcard announcing Lindsay's marriage to Alex (yay!!!) with the most adorable pictures of the two of them I've ever seen. The second was a letter from Maighdlin. If you have never received a letter from her, you should wish that you had. In it she writes about paying attention to what is being revealed "about Him, others, you, your calling, and His perfect plan for your life." What an important reminder for me-for all of us, really. As I am sure you have, I have been so busy with what's become my daily regimen--learning new material, acquiring knowledge, ruminating over specific ideas with other people, among other things--that I have scarce taken time to step back and truly contemplate life's bigger questions...

I remember Dr. Ury talking during the last fall revival about how as Christians, Jesus is our Reality. I had never heard this preached before but I took a liking to the precept. It seemed profound to me, but I was too "busy" to reflect on the implications of this statement. Reality, as it relates to philosophy, is defined as existence that is absolute, self-sufficient, or objective, and not subject to human decisions or conventions. Thus, if Jesus is true reality, and if this definition really encompasses the nature of reality, then the Godhead does exist as absolute, self-sufficient, and not subject to human decisions or conventions. Does this hit anyone else like it does me? What mainly impresses on my mind is that if I really believed this to be true, there would be no place in my heart for insipid notions of self-sufficiency, subjective conclusions, or truth outside of God. The fact is that whether I believe God to be true or not, He is. 

Application: Ugly as it may be, I have always had strong tendencies to want to control all things pertaining to me, from my present circumstances to my future. This desire contradicted what I knew in my head to be true about God: He died so that I might gain life where it was lost, that I might find freedom through Him, and in Him, a perfect plan purposed for my good. (Philippians 1:21; Galatians 5:1; Jeremiah 29:11). For as long as I have had a personal relationship with God, there has been this dichotomous tension, almost as if I am wrestling God Himself for control over my life. What if Jesus became my overriding reality? What if I fully believed Him and His word to be true? I do not believe I would fight Him anymore for control because I would know in my heart that He really does have a future prepared for me, better than any I could plan myself. 

What is it about God that you do not believe to be true? And how does it affect the way you live your life?

Once I acknowledge God as Reality, it becomes easier for me to accept my position and to shed any pretense I have before Him and others. Along with being busy has come the feeling of being thrown into this semester and into circumstances. Unbeknownst to me, it would prove the best time of my life! I have been thrown into this community of 43 students and 10 staff members. And as all of us were sort of forced into this close-knit community, we've had no other choice but to treat it as such. On the subject of community, we read Dietrich Bonhoeffer's Life Together. To my surprise, it's amazing what being in real community can do for you and others! (Who knew?!) As Proverbs 27:17 says, "as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." It has been a blessing. I will share more about community in an upcoming post.

As I said, seeing Him more accurately and acting with others as His body has given me proper (though far from perfect) perspective on my role in all of this. It amazes me that at points in time, I have valued myself more than others. Note: This is foolish. All that results from this is a skewed, self-absorbed mentality. Rather, you and I need other people to help us learn more about ourselves. In fact, I find that I learn most about myself when I realize I have just judged or disliked someone's personality, disposition, etc. I mean, what kind of pride must lie someone deep inside that would surface when I meet people with whom I automatically write off for no good reason? Ashamedly, I have identified this attitude in myself a few times, living in such close community. And thank God for grace. For helping me to understand. My heart needs to change; not them. 

To address the last part of Maighdlin's letter, I am in the midst of things I've yet to sort through regarding my calling. Many questions pertaining to all of our futures have arisen through conversation and class, such as: What has He gifted you with? What are your natural abilities? What do you have a heart for? Does your career necessarily need to be your ministry? Would not the church function more properly if we as Christians took secular jobs and spent time after work doing the work of the church? Should not every area of our lives reflect our primary calling, which is to glorify God? As I said, many questions...much to sort through. But to bring it back around to the reality of Jesus:

"And why do you worry...? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?" -Matthew 6:28-30

And the fact remains that whether I believe God to be true or not, He is. 

Feels Like Fall

A partially opened window exposes the crisp, 68 degree air. The breeze wafts the calming scent of the pumpkin spice candle burning beside me throughout the room. And I sit, admiring the mountains as I write while listening to instrumental music for piano and violin. Other than a change in scenery, it is, my friends, the feel of fall. My favorite.

This very moment is the first I have had to sit down and reflect on the past week. I did not have my practicum today, so I came straight home with every intention of taking a lengthy nap (as I only slept for three hours last night). Instead, as I walked into my midday empty apartment, it occurred to me that I could not remember the last time I had been alone! Thus, I decided to enjoy this quiet moment of solitude, however long it may last, and write.

Picking up where I left off, Tackett delivered his final lecture on the heart and the mind last Friday...made for great conversation over the weekend. Friday night, we all attended a Rockies baseball game in Denver. Thankfully, some girls and I sought out Starbucks as we barely explored the city, took plenty of pictures, and did not arrive until the 6th inning...Perfect! The rest of the weekend proved pretty low key, allowing me to get ahead (though not for long) on my reading. Monday marked the first day of Identity and Leadership Development class. My professors, Dr. Robert and Elena Thomason, maintain that "a large part of leading well stems from knowing who you are, and knowing who you are is intricately wound with how God has made you male or female." Interesting...we shall see!

Tuesday was our first day of the Marriage and Family course, which I know we are all going to love. The current reading for this class--Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas--has been profound. Even our professors, Dr. Steve and Twila Lee, agree that this book on marriage stands apart from the rest, in that it breaks down our cultural belief that marriage should be sought after as a means to comfort, happiness, and romance.  It is not that marriage does not afford these; rather, each of these ideas are much more likely to be evidenced in one's marriage over time, through a commitment to another person, with the ultimate goal being to glorify God through your relationship, and to become more like Christ. As Thomas puts it, "In a man-centered view, we will maintain our marriage as long as our earthly comfort, desires, and expectations are met.  In a God-centered view, we preserve our marriage because it brings glory to God and points a sinful world to a reconciling Creator...Thus, spiritual growth is the main theme: marriage is simply the context." I'll spare you my soapbox. This time. Only because I know there will be plenty more to grapple with in the following classes, and I wish not to burden you with an exhaustive reflection of each one. (Know however, that my heart is for figuring out how to mend broken marriages, and how to shape godly ones from the get-go. That said, I apologize in advance for when I unintentionally do so anyway).

Haha! Ciera, me, Chris, and Daniel.

The students designated Tuesday's class period as stoplight day, wearing each color according to his or her relationship status. Pretty appropriate for a class on marriage, I'd say. (Kidding guys, I know I'm at Focus on the Family, but seriously...) Anyway, it was a fun day. :) Moreover, someone snitched and thus, our professors both showed up in red!

I'll save my worldview class for another post because I have absolutely loved it, as well! However, my social life and sleeping habits have not appreciated 400 pages of reading and a paper this week...Tonight I have small group with ten girls, led by my worldview professor's wife. Until then, much reading to do...

The Colorado Adventure

View right outside my apartment.

Scott, Daniel, Hannah, me, and Katelyn

The (2000 ft) Incline: a mile long stair climb up the side of Pike's Peak

Balancing Rock

Garden of the Gods

I realize I haven't posted in a while...time seems to slip more and more out of my grasp.  Anywho, thought you might enjoy seeing some of what I experience everyday! All of these pictures are locations within 15 minutes of my apartment. :)

Tackett for President

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6sNb8SE1hM

Initially, I was not nearly as enthusiastic about my politics class as I was about the others. That is, until I met Del Tackett, author of The Truth Project, and my Family, Church, & Society professor. For the past 8 weekdays, I have had the privilege of listening to Dr. Tackett lecture for 3 hours a day. And sadly, our last day of his class is tomorrow. Not only I, but the rest of my classmates are saddened by this, as we all have acted as sponges in absorbing breadth and depth of biblical knowledge, as it relates to the world in which we live, from his teaching.  Dr. Tackett has an extraordinary comprehension of God's design and thus, an integral approach in teaching us about family, church, and society. Challenging in itself is the fact that he has taken responsibility for his faith, searching the Scriptures and applying such knowledge to daily life. One of many things I have learned through him is that the Bible is not just a tool of encouragement and daily bread for me; it is a blueprint for humanity. His word to us describes His very own nature, marked by goodness, love, humility, and jealousy (to name a few), and reveals our human nature in contrast.

I hope to dialogue with you more about this when I get home, but for now, I will try and summarize all that I've learned these past 2 weeks in a few paragraphs:

According to Dr. Tackett, the Scriptures elaborate on 6 different social spheres: Family, Church, the State, Community, Labor, and God & Man. Basically, God has designed each of these spheres in His image. Given that God operates as 3 in 1, as diversity within a completely unified relationship, so should we.  For example, the family system was designed as Husband, respectable head of the household, Wife, as his respectful beloved and equal (yet not the same...), and Child(ren), outcome of the bond between Husband and Wife. Three parts in one family structure; diversity within a covenant relationship. Sound familiar? What about the State? According to His design, He should be the foundation upon which an earthly leader governs the people. Three parts to one system. And as we began to look at the design of each of these relationships, they all bore the image and nature of God.

This was an enormous task, to then reflect on what each of these spheres look like in reality, in our society. If God is absolute Truth, then His commands are the standard. If His commands are the standard, then there is no moral relativity. If His very nature is Good, then there is nothing bad about the design for which He intended each sphere to operate.

We discussed many of the pathologies among each sphere as a result of the Fall of Man. And let me be the first to say, that by not contemplating the nature of God and the fact that I was created in His image, I have insidiously subjected myself to secular philosophies, namely individualism, feminism, humanism, and postmodernism. And if you think you've not, ask yourself if you've ever chosen yourself first over others? Have you, as a woman, stepped up when a man would not? Or have you, as a man, abdicated a responsibility because the woman did it for you? Have you ever believed that what's true and good for you is not necessarily true and good for someone else? (Okay, I guess it's just me...)

I realize the summary of what I've been learning is a bit intense, but I am so thankful to have been informed from a biblical standpoint, to have wrestled with issues I never had before, and to have realized my responsibility as a believer to take a position on political, ethical, and moral issues.

Another word on Dr. Tackett: Many of us found that we had had similar thoughts on starting a campaign for our professor. Tackett 2012. Of course, he would not stand for this, as he is probably the most humble man I have ever met. I wish you all could experience him in the classroom. He is passionate about the Lord, above anything else. He speaks lovingly of his family, gracefully of nonbelievers, and starkly of the image believers have created for ourselves. He greets each of us with a firm yet friendly shoulder squeeze during our time of greeting each other in the morning, and then captivates us with his charisma and authority as he speaks. I am not kidding when I say that I have been on the verge of tears nearly every class period, as if his passion were physically contagious. What would happen if we were subject to the leadership of a man such as him? Food for thought. Whether or not ole' Del ever decides to run for president, I count it a blessing to see the example of a man who loves God with all his heart, and so has modeled his life after Him. At the very least, we would do well to follow suit.

We are biopsychosocialspiritual beings.

Dr. Seitz was the first to familiarize me with this term, and I thought it a most appropriate title to encompass all things learned thus far at the Focus Leadership Institute. Please bear with me as I try to articulate each prefix, (and note that physio- would be a more appropriate prefix for the first section) as related to my current experience. It might be a long one.

This past weekend at our retreat, I attempted to hike 8 miles up and down a 3,500 ft. mountain in 4.5 hours. Given the shape I am in, that attempt proved unsuccessful. We were instructed to turn around, wherever we were, at 4 o'clock, at which point I was only roughly 2,625 feet up the mountain. Had we more time, the rest of our group could have made it I'm sure, but we were not quite as acclimated with the elevation (mind you we began our hike already 9,000 ft. above sea level) or mountains in general, as were the others. (Apparently, our group is the second, out of all the years they've attempted this hike, to make it to the top of the mountain the first weekend). It was a great time though! After I got past the leg-burning, I want to die stage, I loved the challenge and goal we were working toward! And, although I was told by one of the camp workers that he didn't expect me to make it that far for my first time, I was still pissed that I didn't get to the top! The guys have incredible pictures in front of the mountain-surrounded lake at the top, with the sun beaming off the water! Agh, but I'm not jealous or anything...
So, in preparation for future hiking, Alyssa, my neighbor from Arizona, and I are going to do inclines and stair-stepping like our lives depended on it. :-) Seriously. I am waiting on her now to go the gym at our apartment complex.

Class begins tomorrow. The past two days have each been a 7 hour intensive on leadership. Dr. Leland has been lecturing, and I cannot wait to have him in our worldview class! He is sharp and quick-minded, intelligent, passionate about Scripture and teaching, and an eloquent speaker. Needless to say, the past two days have not been that bad. His motto has been, "we are so glad you're here, but we cannot wait for you to leave," as the purpose of the institute is to equip FLI students to go confidently into the world as effective and competent Christians in a secular world. Conservative? You might say. Cliche? Perhaps. But that is the last thing being here feels like. For the first time, I am surrounded by peer leaders who all want the same thing, to be effective and competent in our generation. Not that I do not have that atmosphere at Asbury; I am surrounded by only 43 other students who chose to spend such an intense semester here in Colorado. And we have the opportunity to study under and be mentored by godly, competent leaders who are working to accomplish the same things in their areas of expertise. And I am so excited!

For the sake of your time, I will defer the social aspect until my next post. Spiritually, I have never been so enriched by a community. While I have been asking others to pray for time to digest everything and spend time with the Lord, it seems as though His word and teaching are incorporated into nearly every aspect of my day, whether in class or reading for class (okay, so those two things consume most of my day so far). In a real way though, not in a Christian bubble way. But back to understanding why I am here...I did not really know what to expect as I headed out west. Everyone here seems to have a story of how God brought him or her out here at the last minute or through crazy circumstances...and as I was talking with a girl named Joy on our way back from retreat, I told her that I had ended up here by my own choice. That I had worked this semester into my schedule at Asbury so that I could still graduate on time. Only I did not realize until a few days after being here that God humored me by allowing me to think that this was in my plan. And by His grace, I know I am here for divine reasoning which I do not yet understand.

I have so much more to share, it's ridiculous. But, Alyssa just texted me...and I'm off to get in the best shape ever! :-)

Orientation Week

I arrived Tuesday around 11:15 AM. As we pulled into the apartment parking lot, it finally hit me that this is where I am living for the next 3 and a half months! You guys, it is beautiful out here. As you drive through town, all you can see are incredible mountains surrounding the city. Like, massive. A few of you immediately received texts saying, "Holy crap. I am never coming home." I'm only half kidding. On top of being smack-dab in the middle of this awesome backdrop, my apartment complex is AMAZING, as is the city. Starbucks, Whole Foods, and Panera are all within 1 minute of me. Do you know how incredibly happy this makes me?

I, along with 42 peers, have had orientation for the past three days, beginning with a welcome dinner Tuesday night, right across from Alpha and Omega classrooms (naturally), where I will spend the majority of my class time. I do not have enough time to go into great detail, which I am sure you are thankful for...I already had to sit through 14 hours of orientation...no need to regurgitate it. I will highlight however, that I really like all of my professors so far. They briefed us on the structure and content of their classes and there's not one that I'm not excited about. I will also mention that as you walk down the hallway past their offices, each of them have their Myers-Briggs personality types posted outside their door, just so you know whose office you're entering, what kind of personality with which you are about to sit down and talk. Being the psych major that I am...LOVE IT!

Otherwise, I've been super busy between shopping for hiking boots (yes, I said it), cold gear for hiking, a bathing suit (because I didn't bring one...oh but wait, guess I'll be needing that for our hot tub :-), groceries, apartment stuff, etc. etc. Last night, we had a worship team meeting that lasted 1.5 hours, during which we accomplished very little. But, what's new of musicians? I am organizing the rotation schedule and am kind of the liaison between our student led worship team and our Resident Director, Kjersten. Oddly enough, I am pretty excited about that!

I know I'm probably boring you, so more to come when classes start and I get to explore beautiful Colorado. I just wanted to give you an update (so I got up at 6:30 this morning to do so, as I had to finish reading an article for retreat this weekend and have had no other time)! I am heading out about 8:30 this morning for a camping trip a few hours away and won't be back until Sunday afternoon...at which point, I will have about 60 pages of reading to do before class starts Monday...

Hope everyone has a great weekend. :-)

Go Eagles!!!