The Past Few Days...

...have been pretty weird. Classes started two weeks ago at Asbury and I have been at home. Well, back and forth a lot. I have loved traveling to Asbury every few days. I love the drive and always...(except for one time)...feel refreshed when I come back home. Like I just needed a good dose of my best friends and people I've not seen all summer. But it's strange, finally leaving. I'd become so spoiled seeing my friends for the past month. And today I left (most of) them for good--for the semester--and realized I am leaving, to move to Colorado for three and a half months tomorrow!

I have been super anxious to leave. But I only realized this through my somatic symptoms. Trouble sleeping, which I never have. And by trouble sleeping, I mean going to bed at 1 AM and waking up at 5 AM, unable to go back to sleep. Irritability, which surfaced a week ago tomorrow (Ashlyn, Lahni, Zeus...I apologize). And now that it's here, I came to this realization which plagued the following 45 minutes of my final drive home from Asbury today: I am a senior, moving to Colorado Springs, during the time when I should be most familiar with the college routine. I am up and leaving when I would normally be preparing for the unknown of the upcoming year. Taking the GRE, applying to grad schools, preparing in advance the best I can. But instead, I am leaving everything I know to venture off into something I know nothing about. And don't get me wrong--I know I am going to eat it up. I can't wait!!! But thinking about preparing for my future when my current experience is also completely new!? Needless to say, if there were ever an hour for me to draw from a vast array of coping mechanisms, the time is now...

I shared this reality check, as my mom put it, with her and my youngest sister last night as they sat in my room while I packed. To which Lahni responded, "Well yeah girl! Of course you're freaking out! I mean, I'm only a sophomore...and I realize I only have two years left of high school! What am I going to do? And you! You're a senior in college! You're practically a mother!"

Thank you, Lahni.

In an attempt to downplay her previous statement she said, "what I mean is, you're almost an adult. Well, you are an adult, but a real adult. Like, a pay-your-own-bills adult."

Again, thank you.

I know the Lord is good. I know He will take care of me. My faith in His ability to do so will be tested, but I will trust Him over my own ability to accomplish anything. In all honesty, there will be times where I will stupidly fight with Him for control, but I know that at the end of the day, I will surrender. I know some of you reading this are praying for me, so know that I plan to share as much as I can with you. :-)

Anywho, I say my last, and therefore hardest goodbyes tonight. Two of my best friends are coming to spend my last night at home with me, along with other wonderful friends and family. And soon enough, you will be reading of my adventures in Colorado! This being my first post in regards to Colorado though, I wanted you to experience the full range of emotions with me, from pre-FLI to post. I hope you enjoy!